My Friend Dated My Rapist is the personal story of a woman who was raped at a dorm party in her freshman year at college. She tells how she tried to ignore it by burying it deep in her mind but eventually found some degree of relief from the pain by speaking up and telling her story.
Reading this I felt sadness. I was sad for the woman who was victimized not just that night; but the incident continued to haunt her for years to come. I feel sad for the men (I use that word loosely) who are so mean as to do such a thing. They probably don’t even realize that by doing such evil they are hurting themselves as much (in a different way of course) as they are the woman they victimize.
Pondering this story, I remember years ago when I was in the Army in Stuttgart, Germany; three male soldiers and a young (very young) female soldier drinking and carrying on in an apartment in Stuttgart.
Eventually the girl crashed and the guys continued smoking weed and passing the beer around. Of course we made some lewd comments about the girl in the bed in the other room, but none of us did anything to her. One of us put a blanket on her and we let her be while we continued drinking and eventually crashing ourselves. I’m very glad that no one bothered her and the only pain she had the next morning was a hangover….
One final point to make, which will likely incur the wrath of at least some women. The point is that it is unwise for a woman to allow herself to be in a situation like that. But I understand it’s easier said than done; no one wants to be alone, they want to be with people even if it’s just three drunk soldiers. And I agree that we must not blame the victim, but still everyone man or woman should be mindful of their environment and their own behavior.